Last night I opened my mailbox to find a hand-written letter that my 10 year old wrote.
Dear Mom and Dad,
As you know, Christmas is coming up. The present I want is a cell phone. As you read this you are coming up with ideas why I shouldn’t have a cell phone. One of those reasons might be responsibility. You are worried that I might break it or lose it. Well, I have been thinking long and hard about this and I came up with this. If I take my $40 and put it towards he cell phone, it will be 1/2 mine. Therefore, I would take care of it more. Questions?
Now, If we got rid of our home phone, our bill goes down. If I don’t use the home phone and I use the cell phone, I can contact you anywhere you go. If I am at dance/gymnastics and you can’t pick me up or you are going to be really late, you can just call or text me. Now, you don’t have to call the dance owner, Roxy, to tell me. Are you starting to see the benefits?
Yes, like you pointed out, if I can afford a cell phone, I can afford rent. Here is the problem with that. How am I supposed to come up with a few THOUSAND dollars every month? Maybe get a job? I am ten years old, (almost 11) and I do not know one person at age 11 who has a job. I would be more than happy to do extra chores around the house for a while to help cover rent if I can afford a cell. Will that work?
True as it is, Brock, my brother, do not always get along. BUT, I have been noticing that we are starting to grow out of it. I think as we are aging, we are maturing. This has taken a lot of effort and time as I have talked to him a few times on how we need to get along. I know we are not perfect, and let things slip a little, (okay, I will be honest, a lot) but we are trying. As we age and possible as you read, we are growing closer and closer. Brothers and sisters have fights when young and grow out of it as they age. I think this proves that I am mature enough for a cell phone.
I am very aware that you pay for dance and gymnastics and that you are NOT a bank. I understand that. I am willing to DOUBLE the chores, do them right, and not complain. (This means a lot knowing that I am willingly doing chores even though I dislike them very much.) I am very thankful that you already pay for what you do. I thank you for that. Thank you for taking the time to look at this letter and at least consider it. I hope you look at my side of things and at least consider it.
Love,
Sam
After about 12 months of saying NO WAY to her getting a cell phone, I am almost at my breaking point.
I told her “You want a cell phone? Fine. Go type that letter to me (she did it this morning) and I am going to teach you a new term: CROWDSOURCE. We are going to find out what everyone thinks about whether or not a 10 year old in 5th grade should get a cell phone.”
And no, I don’t care if “half of the 5th graders and all of the 6th graders” have cell phones.
What say ye?
Couldn
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I say yes. She makes a great argument.
It’s a great idea for safety reasons. We make our daughter charge hers in the kitchen at night so we know she’s not texting all night. Very persuasive and well-thought out case from a 10-year old, very impressed!
Her letter is very mature…yes
I was a staunch ‘no’, until I read Sam’s argument. I wrote a very similar to my parents when I wanted to throw my first party at the house when I was 13. They made me write out an argument and then present it to them. Thinking through my reasons and having to argue my point made me more conscious of what a big decision it was for my parents. The party went great, no shenanigans and I proved I could be mature. I think by your child arguing the points, they may now see why this is such a big deal. I still HATE the idea of anyone under driving age having a cell phone, but if she talks enough and if this picking up problem occurs often enough, maybe it isn’t such a bad idea.
Though the stuff about she working on not fighting with her brother though..that’s bullshit. Speaking from experience as the oldest sister in my family.
I say if she can write a letter that well, she can take care of a cell phone! I have graded papers by kids in college that couldn’t put together a coherent argument on paper & they have cell phones!!
Her letter was very mature, I know adults that can’t reason that well. I vote yes.
If a 10 year old wrote this I say yes get him a Phone he deserves it and is going to be a really good salesperson or will be going far in life. If not I think you need to wait until at least 16 years old.
Oh wow – this is a hard one. My gut feeling is that 10 year olds don’t get cell phones, but I also recognize that the world is NOTHING like it was when I was 10. And since I’m going to have this very conversation in a few years, I thought I’d comment.
Her case is pretty good – and far more articulate than I expected (good job mom and dad!). But cell phones are like small bombs waiting to go off. My sister in law is a junior high guidance counselor and without fail every year deals with several cases of “sexting” or pornographic picture messages that get passed around the school and then posted to facebook. Bullying takes on a whole new level when cell phones are involved.
If she’s mature enough to understand the far reaching implications of having a digital recording device in her pocket – get her one. From the sounds of her letter, she can handle it.
Big thumbs up! Cell phones are essential in my house to keep track of everyone (I am severely outnumbered…). What I have found is that through the wonder of texting, I also “talk” to my kids a lot more…just make sure you get the unlimited plan!!
Wow. I have to tell you, as the parent of a 9.5 year old (and a smart one at that), I’m super impressed. That is an incredibly articulate and detailed argument she has written. You may have a future attorney on your hands. However, again as the mother of a 9.5 year old, I have to vote Nay. If only because I don’t need more fuel for my kid’s cellphone-coveting fire. Kids don’t need cellphones. And I have 2 sibling high school teachers who will back me up. It’s an unneccessary distraction. But that’s just my opinion.
Here are a few thoughts (if this were my kid writing me)…
- Two words as to why I would say no. Text messaging.
- If I hear “responsibility,” I’m more concerned with how it’s used, when it’s used, how often it’s used, etc… and not as much in the taking care of the phone itself.
- Chores. I’m looking at my kid now and saying if they plan to do extra chores for “a while” what is his/her understanding of how long that is and what does it entail? Great opportunity to talk about expectations here just like is done with business, in life, etc… In one instance it’s “extra chores,” and another it’s “DOUBLE the chores.”
I’ve got a little CES fireside talk I think I’d have her read as well.
I’d lean toward yes.
She’s displaying a maturity that I think is pretty unique for someone that young.
I think, though, you might consider some kind of pre-paid plan to ensure that she doesn’t go over her minutes and texts. Also, I think it’s wise to make it clear that you will have the right to take a random gander at her phone once in a while.
If she gets to have access to a computer and to the internet (under your supervision & guidance, of course), she most likely can handle a cell phone responsibly.
I vote no. Although your daughter makes a pretty articulate arguement for a 10 yr old, she can just borrow yours when she needs it right? Why give her the added distraction, and incur unneeded extra cost? If the crowdsource vote is yes you may want to consider parental controls and limited texts and airtime to avoid costs that no 10yr old will be able to recoup vacuuming.
My answer is no. Here is how I would handle it:
Buy a cell phone for your kids. When an occasion arises where a cell phone adds convenience (dance/gymnastics) give the child involved the phone. When an occasion arises where a cell phone adds safety (out with friends, driving far distances) give the child involved the phone. Basically, if having a phone confers a direct benefit, that child gets the phone.
Of course this presents a problem when more than one child “needs” the phone at the same time. If the point is to contact you for some reason, ask them if they have friends who would let them borrow their phone (they probably do whether they admit it or not). If so, they don’t “need” the phone. If both have legitimate reasons for needing the phone you’ll have to revert to the old-fashioned method of regular phones.
The basic idea is to have a cell phone for situations that make sense (dance/gymnastics) but avoiding the problems (too much texting, calls at all hours, inappropriate pictures). By having a phone that may be with different people (sibling, parent, etc.) you discourage inappropriate usage while still keeping the convenience.
Just my two cents.
Why would they need one? Being able to talk nonstop with their friends doesn’t seem like an actual reason.
hmmm….sounds like conversations we were having last year.
I’ve probably told you our story…we got rid of the home phone, who uses it? Saved $12/mo. until the very day after the phone was disconnected and we realized that our girls (then 8 & 10) couldn’t call if we ran to the store or somewhere and left them at home for a brief period. They got a joint cell phone the next day. We added a line to our T-mobile plan for $10/mo. We’re still ahead by $2 and they can take it anywhere. At 9 & 11 now they’ve had it for a year and taken really good care of it, don’t abuse it (except for the time that the 8-yr old texted everyone she knew at 2am last year…I digress), and we have some added security when they are playing outside or at a friends.
Just my $.02.
NO!
Doesn’t matter how mature or how good the argument is made…she’s a 10 year old!
What if she comes back next year and writes a compelling argument for getting a tattoo? She knows you caved once she’ll beat you again!
Be strong! Stay the adult! Parents should’nt be childs best friend until they are old enough to have their own.
OK – I’ll admit my kids all have cell phones and have had them for a few years. While maturity and responsibility do play a role in the decision – keep in mind that promises do get broken and phones do get lost. We’ve replaced a couple of lost cell phones and upgraded phones on birthdays. Do I regret giving them their phones? Not yet. Today is not yesterday and times are ever changing. I hear more from my high schooler (via texting) during the day then I imagined. He let’s me know when he gets an “A” on a paper or when he’s running late. I love it & it gives me the opportunity to celebrate those moments and help out when I can. The kids know that with “great power comes great responsibility” and so far, they have yet to give us cause to take them away.
Merry Christmas to your daughter. I know you’ll get her a phone
If she can write a letter and get up to type it, she can handle a cell phone. With Christmas being only a few days away, I think you need to get with it to go buy her the cell phone. Just my opinion.
Did you get her one?
Update:
Did she get one for Christmas?
Nope.
What a mean Dad I am!
I decided to wait until her birthday.
On January 4th.
The one reason that pushed me over the edge?
So I can have something that she loves as the object of negotiation for when she feels like “being naughty”.
Text and voice only, no web and unlimited of both. Amazing how cheap it is to add another phone to my already-unlimited plan.
After the initial addiction period, the over under as to the first time I take it away?
3 weeks.
Thanks for all the comments!