Every time I see something like this:
I think to myself: now there is a great sales guy.
Top 10 Reasons Great Sales Guys Don’t Marry Ugly Girls
- Great sales guys are good listeners. Or at least they can fake it if they aren’t. Hot chicks dig great listeners.
- Great sales guys are interesting to listen to. They tell great stories that are interesting and have a point. Most of the time these stories make hot chicks laugh. Hot chicks like guys who can make them laugh.
- Great sales guys don’t drive Toyota Corollas. Hot chicks don’t roll in Corollas.
- Great sales guys make plenty of cabbage. Face it: it’s going to take a few dollas to make her holla.
- Great sales guys are insecure. Guys make fun of other guys who are with ugly girls. Great sales guys can’t stand to be made fun of.
- Great sales guys know how to close. They don’t fumble on the 1 yard line after a 16 play, 99 yard drive.
- Great sales guys know how to read non-verbal communication. Hot chicks love it when they don’t have to explain to him to take out the trash, they just wink and nod and he is on it. Great sales guys also know what it means when she twirls her fingers in her hair (see #6) as she is listening to his (see #2) funny stories.
- Great sales guys don’t take no for an answer. What, you think the girl in the picture said “yes” to him the first time he asked?
- Great sales guys love it when people talk about them. Ego does funny things to a human – like give them courage to do the seemingly impossible so all their friends can exclaim “you ‘da man!”
- Great sales guys are fearless. Great sales guys are full of action – and action is the antidote to fear. Chicks dig scars. Broken bones heal. Glory lasts forever.
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Love that you managed to quote Keanu Reeves from the Replacements and still sound cool. You are on to something, my friend.
I was compelled to type a response from my iPhone. That is how awesome this post is. We need to get together to teach a combo sales training/matchmaking seminar sometime soon. This should be printed and hung over every coffee pot at every sales office.
WOW. Could you BE any more sexist? Yes, you did say that 5. Great sales guys are insecure. Maybe Great Sales Guys could get a grip and marrry real women as opposed to “Hot Chicks” or is a mental equal who is lovely too much to handle?
@Karen,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
I know this sounds crazy, but it would have been easy to be “more sexist” when listing out reasons that great sales guys don’t marry ugly girls. I toned it down, but still left an edge on it… and yes, I fully realize that this is somewhat sexist. I won’t argue that point.
But I will just say that it has been my observation after watching thousands of sales people.
Now – if you are still upset, be sure to return for my upcoming post “Why Women Make The Best Sales People“.
Lastly, it has been my experience that about 1% of Great Sales Guys end up actually marrying a real woman who is lovely and even mentally superior. So that leaves about a 99% chance for improvement in that area.
Justin
Uh, another take on this could be “10 Ways an Ugly Guy Can Get a Photo With a Hot Chick”. I’m betting this guy was in Vegas, hit a jackpot, and then hit up this woman for a photo op.
@RW,
Agreed. I do get a chuckle out of the picture when I look at it though.
And I thought it was exaggerated enough to use for illustrative purposes.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!
Justin
You are too funny!
People need to start reading between the lines. Then again I can name several people we both know, and many more that everyone knows that you just gotta say “how the hell did this asshole get such a nice gal?”. Think you are pretty good at this observation thing. Great post as always.
Hmm, interesting. What would the female equivalent of the “great sales guy” be? The funny, yet quirky fat girl?
But hey, you know what they say; if you don’t have the looks, be prepared to put in a bit more time into actually developing a personality. Or perhaps improving your financial “security” is more than enough for all the raunchy gold-diggers of the world.
ew. if i had to choose to touch that guy with a stick for a million dollars or lick a toilet seat in a public bathroom, i would go dunk myself in the closest portable toilet. it’s funny that great sales men make fun of guys with ugly girls. i do the same thing to girls with ugly dudes. ugly fat men are gross.
This is such horse shit. Where is the bitch’s big ass wedding ring? This is the bullshit photo that was just pulled from the ads on facebook for simply being that: bullshit. The woman is more likely a tumor or a prisoner.
@Jim,
Would it help if I told you that picture is of my old boss and his wife?
Justin
Uhm.. No this couple are fugly
co-co- marshaww!
Haha
As i was saying that chick is way too cool for you buddie
Frekon Fatty
;D
Does this also explain why most great sales guys make a ton of money but are still broke, because they’re paying alimony to three “ex-hot chicks”? And how that drives them like a hamster on a wheel to an early grave?
Making the sale is only part of the equation – when you’re in a relationship you not only have to make the sale, you have to build and deliver the product as well or you’ll have a very unhappy customer
Rob –
Thanks for bringing up those (good) points!
New post idea: Most sales guys are broke. Why?
Justin